in service of the great transitions: birth and death
birth doula
It is my privilege to be a DONA trained birth doula. I work with parents at any point in their pregnancy all the way through achieving a first latch for breastfeeding, if that is their plan. I feel so strongly that a peaceful and empowering birth sets the whole world up for peaceful and empowered citizens. My work as a doula has no ego, and is without judgement. I want pregnant people and partners to feel supported in whatever birth experience feels right for them, whether I am the chosen support or not. I am happy to serve as a guide, friend, resource, or whatever can help a parent in their work to bring baby earthside. I understand that a healthy birth is best achieved from a holistic perspective, and does not begin when labor starts, but much earlier in pregnancy, if not before conception.
How it looks: I arrive at the labor whenever I am asked for. I am available on call 24 hours a day for the month surrounding baby’s due date, and am ready at a moment’s notice. I come after having established a good relationship with parents, usually after one or two meetings during the third trimester, several hours long each. Many clients also attend my prenatal yoga class to get into a good relationship with their body and breath. In labor, I help with non medical comfort measures, verbal support, information, touch, guided relaxation, and a calm and loving smile. Each birth I’ve attended has become an incredible affirmation in humanity. Every child emerges the way they need to, and I have loved being present for them all.
Once baby is here and everyone is bonding and latched, I go home and write their birth story from my perspective. I deliver this story at our postpartum follow up, ideally within 48 hours of the birth. Many parents find this story to be incredibly helpful to piece together the experience for them, foster dialogue to process anything that was especially challenging or confusing, and makes a keepsake for baby. Most of my former clients have remained friends for years afterward.
In addition to having attended births in homes, birth centers, Labor and Delivery rooms at hospitals, and operating rooms, I have had two successful vaginal deliveries of my own children, both at home. The first was silent and sacred. I slept between pushes, and my daughter emerged at dawn into our studio apartment in Brooklyn, NY, in a birth tub in a candlelit room to birdsong out our window. I couldn’t have asked for a more peaceful and soulful experience. My son’s birth was fast and ferocious. He came out in what felt like a single hour-long contraction, appearing with my HUGE roar of triumph in the dark of night. It was also sacred. I’ve seen much, and I am honored to support people in their own delivery of their children, however they emerge.
investment: starting at $1000
All families deserve birth support. Reach out if this fee is cost prohibitive. We will always find a way for you to receive the support you need.
photo by First Embrace Photography
Death doula
you deserve compassionate support as you cope with the transition of death.
it is intense, sacred work.
I want everyone to die well. The dominant culture has developed around an intense avoidance of our impermanence. But death is one thing we all have in common. No one gets out of this alive. And something my teacher quoted that I learned in my death midwifery training is that, “Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, and talking about death won’t make you dead.” A death doula can serve in so many ways during this often complex time. A funeral director supports after a death has occurred, a death doula can support before, during, and after a death.
Whether the support is for a beloved (human or non human-I support the death of beloved pets, too) or yourself, I am honored to be with you during this time. My work as a death doula can look so many different ways. I offer a container of non medical, holistic support for a dying person and their loved ones so they can make informed decisions. This support comes in the form of companionship and guidance, spiritual and practical care.
Here is an incomplete list of some of the ways I can show up in this role:
engage in frank and supportive conversations about death
provide resources and discussion around a terminal diagnosis and end of life care
support the planning of advanced directives
sitting vigil for the actively dying
offer education and resources around funeral planning and remains
facilitating a home funeral
funeral officiant
explore the meaning of the dying person’s life and legacy
develop a plan for how the death space looks, feels and sounds
incorporate ancestral or faith-based traditions or create new rituals around death and grief
encourage appropriate ways of touching the dying person
guide through the early stages of grief
I have met with relatives as they plan for the death of their loved one, helped create ritual around the death of a pet, supported people in person and over the phone as they cope with a sudden loss. It is my honor to hold, share the information and respect that I have for this precious time.
investment: this is case by case, as the types of service vary greatly
This image shared with permission. Jane Kane was my first death to support, and I am forever grateful to her and her family for the lessons and love witnessed as I facilitated her home funeral, honoring her legacy and supporting her loved ones in their fresh grief.